Help!

Hey guys, I need help with a speech topic for my public speaking class. The assignment is a special occasion speech. It can be a toast, eulogy, award reception, award into, business opening, etc. Here is the catch though, it had to be made up, and half the grade is creativity. Some examples of good ones he's had before were things like, a toast to Micky and Minnie Mouse at their wedding, a eulogy to common sense in America, accepting an award for nap taker of the year, etc.
Ideas?

Eulogy at the funeral for the incandescent light bulb????

Eulogy at the funeral for physical cash:
http://news.yahoo.com/sweden-cash-king-no-more-082544562.html

Though I like Jeremy's better.

Man had my informative speech topic not been the emergence of the electric chair (which yes I am writing now and delivering in the morning) I would be all over the lightbulb! Just to much Edison for one semester though. ill check out the money thing for sure. I might need you, Christian as an expert quote of course if your not available I can probably find a Random Ron Paul person to do it!

Did you just compare me to a Ron Paul person?...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................(head explodes).

OK, eulogy to customer service is where i stand now, unless something just blows me away. Now I need a persuasive speech topic. This is kind our magnum opus of the semester. 7-9 minutes with a "press conference" afterwards where the prof / students ask questions. My # one contender right now is why all drug use should be decriminalized. However, I am SO OPEN to ideas on this.... any good thoughts?
BTW- it has to be BOTH weighty AND socially relevant (i.e no "why you should eat better", "why you should wear your seat belt", or "why Reagan was the best president of the 20th century"

You could go with "Why we should close all military bases on foreign soil."

Jeremyshall wrote:You could go with "Why we should close all military bases on foreign soil."

This was my back up but the Lady who sits next to me has agreed to argue for the continued criminalization of drug use so our speeches have kind of morphed into a debate. This is a fact that has our professor almost giddy. She is pretty strong so I need to be really prepared. Perhaps I will start a thread on the subject to get some ammo.

that is going to be a good discussion. You should start the thread and include all the points and information you are going to use.